Some Proposed Tag Lines for the Mooli Packaging

Please make no mistake, eating 4 Mooli's a day will make you fat.

Our salad leaves are washed with water which has passed through the cracks of tibetan virgins. Yes it is that clean.

A Mooli will change your life. No seriously dude, it will.

Our chais are made with milk as fresh tasting as that which you tasted from your mother's teat.

The animals which have been slaughtered for your Mooli taste so good because they are so well treated, with regular massages, organic grass, sushi and 24 hour cable television. 

We do not need to show off about our coffee, because it is so well grounded.

We wanted to bring you the best tasting kulfi. We sourced a great supplier who lovingly makes her creamy kulfis in a farm just close to berkshire-upon-thames-upon a hill. But she was pretentious, overpriced and unbearable to work with, so we have put the kulfi on hold. 

9/10 of our friends think that Mooli's is way better than Pret and EAT. 

As we are just starting we have underpriced our products. Hopefully as we get more popular we will increase the prices. 

Warning: this is not a fucking burrito.

Not to be consumed with low grain cocaine.

This Mooli was not made by an overworked and underpaid illegal immigrant. 

If our staff could speak they would tell you we are the best bosses ever.

This Mooli is bad it's bad...you know it. And the wholeworldhastoanswerrightnowanditellyouonceagain who's bad?

 

I'll see you when you get there......

We'll be back at the Upmarket this Sunday. Flogging our mooli's. Having fun. After a few sold out shows, the Goan Goat Mooli and the Paneer Mooli will be rested and Sam's Keralan Beef Mooli will be unveiled. And, we're also trying out a new and experimental Potato & Asparagus Mooli with tamarind and yogurt sauce (this hasnt yet been voted on to the menu, so your feedback will be really useful).




We're working with little more than a table, a tarpaulin and a plug point, so do make some allowances if the bread isnt fresh off moolita (as it will be @ Mooli's, 50 Frith Street) and the mooli's arent 110% ...... but come on and join the joy ride. We'll be there from 10 am till 5 pm.

The First Reviews

I thought I would gather the early advanced reviews for Mooli's, good and bad.

As far as I am concerned, when it comes to express meals, there are mooli's and then there is everything else

-Andrew Mckneely, Eat Me

If an alien from outer space happened to be in Soho and wanted to understand the earthlings' fascination for Indian food, then it could do no better than head down to 50 Frith Street

-New York Times

"[after some unconnected story]... and so, the comforting vision is the ever so slight but real danger that some ants may crawl out of the carpeted walls, the chicken tikka may glow if the lights go out, and the fact that the polite indian waiter is taking out his frustration by pissing in my vindaloo. This is what we want from an indian food experience, not some pretentious fusion of different indian regional food all presented with the aesthetic sensibility of Japenese design"

-G Coren, The Times

There is a new force in town, and it is currently radiating at 50 Frith Street. Easily the best, most tastiest rolls/wraps whatever, you will ever eat

-Eat Out

"For a long time I failed to understand the allure of paneer. A tasteless cheese, it had nothing to commend it other than its parasitic qualities. I could fully understand why it never featured in the cuisine of Pakistan. Perhaps it was just a vegetarian thing. However, having tasted the paneer mooli, I can now see that this is what the paneer was made for. This is its true vocation"

-Zaheer Murdabad, Dawn

"The "simplified" menu really signals the lack of imagination. For real variety and options you need to go down to East London"

-Brick Lane Bi-Monthly

The best thing I have ever had in my life

-Mr Singh, Delhi Times

[after some unconnected story] If I were a goat I would happily die to be laid out in the warm bread that hugs the goat mooli. To give this much pleasure would not be a bad way to go. I am not sure the blonde would agree....

-AA Gill, The Times Magazine

Awesome, it changed my life

-Mrs Chandy, Kerala Times

A mooli is just such a comforting thing. It puts you in a good mood. Indeed if served, it could be the key to resolving the Arab Israeli and Kashmir conflicts

-Post-Structural-Alternative-Meta-Views on Conflict (food section)

Oh-Moo-li, Ohsala-da (Part 1)

Oh-Moo-li, Ohsala-da (Adapted by Dev Krishan)

Chandy had his equipment in the market place...
Raju was the roller of the show...
Chandy says to Raju "Man, I like your roll"
And Raju says this as he slices and dices the yams...
Oh-Moo-li, ohsala-da, life goes on, brand!...
Lala how the life goes on...

Oh-Moo-li, oh-moo-lah, life goes on, brand!...
Lala how the life goes on.

Sam takes a flight to money shores...
Easily wins a five carat diamond bracelet...
Takes it back to Moolis waiting in Soho...
And as he comes to Truman he begins to sing...
Oh-Moo-li, ohsala-da, life goes on, brand!...
Lala how the life goes on...

Oh-Moo-li, oh-moo-lah, life goes on, brand!...
Lala how the life goes on.

......continued below

Oh-Moo-li, Ohsala-da (Part 2)

Oh-Moo-li, Ohsala-da (Adapted by Dev Krishan)

In a couple of years they have built twenty rocking stores,
With a couple of thousand rolls eaten in the yard,
Of Moolis coming into its own... (Ha ha ha ha ha)
Happy ever after in the market place...
They decided to ensure that things grow...
Moolis didn't stay at home and do its pretty face...
And in the morning they sing it in New York...

Oh-Moo-li, ohsala-da, life goes on, brand!...
Lala how the life goes on...
Oh-Moo-li, oh-moo-lah, life goes on, brand!...
Lala how the life goes on.

In a couple of years they have built a loyal follow,
With thousands folk running in the yard,
Of Moolis the one and only...
Happy ever after in the market place...
They decided to ensure that things grow...
Moolis didn't stay at home and do its pretty face...
And in the evening the world's singing with this brand...
Oh-Moo-li, ohsala-da, life goes on, brand!...
Lala how the life goes on...
Oh-Moo-li, oh-moo-lah, life goes on, brand!...
La la how the life goes on.

And if you want some zing...take Oh-Moo-li--sala-da

My my, hey hey

Mr X : So how do you think Mooli's will do in Soho?

Cafe Manager Friend of Mr X : "I'm not sure if the Soho set who are used to eating slim Pret sandwiches and classy Fernandez & Wells fayre would eat smelly burritos."

Smelly burritos ???????????? OK to the credit of Mr X, he hadn't disclosed to his Cafe Manager Friend the true nature of a mooli as he is constrained by the banker's duty of confidentiality.

Mathew : "........ the burrito analogy we sometimes use is useful, but it breaks down after a point. Unlike a burrito, we don't stuff our mooli's with boiled rice and beans"

Burritos are yummy, and London is now home to some great Mexican restaurants like Taqueria, Benitos Hat, Chilango, Wahaca (and their tacos are fantastic). May their tribe increase, especially before the onslaught of the mighty Chipotle. But we have refused all suggestions to add rice to our mooli's, even if the rice is cooked in coriander.

This call with Mr X has gone on for 25 minutes now. It has been a long hard day. Got to Renato's bread lab in Clerkenwell at 8 am. Surveyed 50 Frith Street with our architects at 10 am. Set off for Birmingham to meet Mushtaq Food Equipment and demo their chapati wedge press . Ritwik is violently sick in the car. Twice. Poor kid. We finally reach a bit late, to only get a viewing (no demo) for all of six minutes. So we go to this really dodgy shack - Lahore Roti Juntion on Stoney Lane to peek at the wedge press in action through their open kitchen door. Their rotis are bad, and their glow in the dark tikkas even worse. This part of Birmingham is a real shit hole.

Mr X : "So have you conducted any of your tasting sessions in gay areas then?"

Mathew : "No Sir. Our tastings are normally conducted from the familiarly of Sam's or my flat (except for that mammoth 50+ tasting at the UBS cafeteria). But we have had our food blessed by all of our gay friends."

Nick was especially complimentary - he said that our food (and the mango lassi especially) really tingled his taste buds, like Wagamama did in the early days. And Thariel and Fab loved our chicken. And Homi & Graham, bless them - our first paying customers @ 11:30 am on 5 July 2009. In fact about 30% of our 45 customers @ the Sunday Upmarket were gay.

Anyway, I am being silly. These are actually all fair questions. We are aware that Soho is home to a number of super models and the gay community. And hence the mini moolis; carb-lite salads; lentil soups; guava, lime and vodka cocktail.

But every now and then even super models and gay men must indulge in a Goan Goat mooli. Tangy and fiery. Rolled with a freshly cut salsa of vine tomatoes, yellow peppers, spring onions, pine nuts and pomegranate seeds.

Yes, Soho has proved hard to break for many. Especially for Indian food concepts. Tiffin Bites failed initially on Wardour Street, but went on to do well in Canary Wharf, Liverpool Street and Moorgate. But Imli looks to have broken the jinx, Masala Zone is doing ok as well and Kati Roll Co looks to be doing better these days with their light and yummy wholemeal option.

Yes there may be safer battle grounds like Wembley, Tooting, Southhall and East Ham. But my my hey hey. Rock & Roll is here to stay.

Mooli's @ the Sunday Upmarket (Old Truman Brewery)

We sold out today. And broke even! Ok, we didnt take a huge amount of stock, but what the hell, it feels good. Thanks Vrinda, Shilpa, Ro, Jonathan, Cat, Dev, Nick. And thank you Homi for being our first ever paying customer at 11:30 am on 5 July 2009.

Got it

Our offer has been accepted. Mooli's, 50 Frith Street, Soho. Next door to Ronnie Scotts Jazz Club.