20 September 2009

Stories from the Toilet Pt 2

Some would say it is an obsession, I just like to call it a fascination in something we all do and love doing and are very relaxed while doing it. Yes poo. I have mentioned its crucial role in the pre-mooli's launch. Now I want to take up the subject in relation to the toilets in mooli's. There will be two toilets in the first mooli's store. How should they look? Convention of course dictates a plain, no frills toilet which is easy to clean and does not reflect badly on the premises and its food. There are two problems with convention.

First, toilets are havens and should look the part. As a 16 year old I thought up my my first path-breaking piece (The causes of the First World War (for a GCSE essay)) in my toilet. I am not alone. Gandhi, Nelson, J Priestley, Kant, Wittgenstein and Teddy Pendergrass. All of them, yes all of them, had their big ideas while sitting on the loo.* So it only makes sense that the mooli's toilet should be more than just comfortable; they need to be a destination in themselves as it were.

Secondly, the convention prevents mooli's only chance to pay some respect or homage to an indian institution which may go out of fashion. The hole in the floor. Why not have one of the toilets as a good ol' fashioned hole in floor of the kind that still exists right across india and pakistan? I can just imagine the headlines or write-ups in the magazine: "if the sumptuous fillings don't knock you out, then visit the loos where you will find London's only hole in the floor toilet. Homage indeed".

*unverified but its believeability must make it true or true enough for it to be a persuasive example


Siva said...

I think this is a very important post, and have therefore been roused out of my maternity induced stupor to contribute. Indian toilets are not designed to be havens - keeping your balance and getting your work done without any unhappy mishaps takes all your concentration. The western WC on the other hand is designed for pleasant activities such as reading and thinking (indeed one can imagine Rodin first conceiving of his masterpiece on the WC in a similar pose). However there is one valuable contribution that holes in the ground have that a potential food critic may not fully appreciate - a life long squatting habit can facilitate childbirth. Pre-natal mooli visits anybody...?

Anonymous said...


my most vivid memories of indian style toilets are (1) those in my university (ARGGGGGGH) and (ii) those on trains (ARGGGGGHHHHH).

the only western loo experience that came close were the loos at glastonbury.

dont go there. besides, i suspect that digging a posh hole in the wall will be even more expensive !

Anonymous said...


mathew said...

Classic. The first piece of Mooli's branding on the windows of the restaurant while the renovations at 50 Frith Street continue:


To Whomsoever This May Concern,

The new occupants of 50 Frith Street, Mooli's Limited intend to renovate their toilets. They plan to strip out the existing WCs and dig a hole in the ground instead.

Reasons :
(i) These holes in the ground are institutions in India and Pakistan and Mooli's Limited would like to pay homage to them. 50 Frith Street is after all a listed building.

(ii) they are good for childbirth.

(iii) they will become a destination. Soho needs more than one toilet which is a destination

Any objections to these minor alterations should be addressed to The Head, Department for Minor Alterations to Toilets, Westminister Council, Soho.